Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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