hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
