We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
