is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
