just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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