dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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