i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
