I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
