"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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