just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
