I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
