i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
