I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
