You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
