spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Floor bacon is actually really good
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
