Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
