I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
