Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
