she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
