If i could tip my vagina, i would.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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