Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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