the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
