Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
