Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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