I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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