somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
