in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
