is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
