Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
