i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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