Pants 0. Shit 1.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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