Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
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