Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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