8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
