I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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