mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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