Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
