Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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