return my video game
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
