Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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