Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
