how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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