i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
