I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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