Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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