i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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