babies were throwing up all over the place
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
