do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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