Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
