I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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