Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
